He's so far in the closet he's in Narnia
Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
do you think I can still get an erection if I donate blood today? this is important.
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
He turned off the music when i walked in and introduced me to everyone. then they gave me jager and made me chug it while holding a giant purple dildo. everything resumed when i finished
Anderson Cooper just came out.
Crying tears of glitter and rainbows right now. Gonna decorate my dildo like My Little Pony in his honor.
It's not that he's ugly its just that being blind folded makes everything less awkward
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
I will give you the couch, a small portion of the fridge, and plenty of beer.
Got my future figured out. I'm oddly comforted. Thanks, bro.
In the middle of our bar crawl last night we stopped to pet dogs at a dog park. who would let a drunk person bet play with their dog???
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
I need my comforter. Pls bring it to me and drape me in it like an animal pelt. Ps I'm naked.
Randomize
