In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
While sitting in bed naked eating ramen and watching the colbert report I realize why random sex happens.
i just woke up to 15 people singing a whole new world
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
You tried to pay for our cab with the 2 dollars you got from selling your natty ice outside the strip club.
My Internet history has 23 searches for 24 hour cake. Self respect plummeting.
woke up in a random sweater in a random bed in a random house on a street I don't recognize..
also, I vaguely remember swapping shirts with some random guy on the dance floor.
Figured out why that fly won't leave. It keeps buzzing through my weed smoke
Fly high, Fly.
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
No, I didn't meet up with him! That's when I had chlamydia.
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
Obviously you're feeling a little sexually frustrated.
I consider humping a stranger every ten minutes when I walk in the street.
Randomize
