Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
my fart just smelled so bad i acutally gagged
just because you are now my girlfriend does not mean you can text me nasty shit
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
Just drunk tweeted NASA asking them to give me a lift home in one of their spaceships. Fingers crossed
If turning my entire backyard into a slip-n-slide is wrong then I don't wanna be right
Even the paramedic said "what a way to kill a party"
So far in the last ten minutes I have tried to pour cereal into a plate. Today's gonna be a great day.
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
Oh hello Jordan's parents, I'm here to have sex with your son. He's in the shower? Oh great, I'll join him
When you wanted to give that guy at McDonalds your number you asked the cashier if you could borrow "a pen or just like a straw with his blood on it". He gave you a pen.
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
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