i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
Dude, I just scraped frozen vomit from my rooftop
I really wish I could say this is a new low for you
she went apple picking. why dont we do cute things like that? let's go to a pumpkin patch!
because we're not cute. we're sluts. and sluts don't go apple picking.
My neighbor asked me to tell you to stop changing in front of their house. Do I even want to know?
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
I totally gave him head in sync to Beastie Boy's Sabotage playing in the background.
Also can you rate on a scale of zero to jesus restraining order christ how creepy it is that he found a porn star that looks like me and has watched all the porn that she's been in
A few days ago I apparently came up, asked her to make me soup, and handed her a can of coconut milk.
It was bitter sweet because I woke him up with sex but then I peed in his bed with him in it
Ugh a 13 year old just asked me why people drink, I had to explain it without making it sound good. I need a drink.
He's still short.... And probably a douchebag. But if we ever run into him downtown I fully encourage you to take him home and have "I hate you douchebag" sex and lick every inch of that disgustingly toned chest.
My neighbors are white girl rapping to Hamilton again...
I rewired his car so that every time he hits the gas the horn and the OnStar turn on every time he hits the brake the panic alarm goes off.
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
Randomize