I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
I just threw up a christmastime peep. I am literally already sick of the holidays.
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
For some reason I knew you were going to smell like strippers and burritos when I hugged you.
Maid of honor is brides sister and single. Likes lemondrops. You're welcome.
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
When I'm famous, she'll look at her kids and go "I saw her buttcheeks beefore she was famous. I'm truly blessed."
The cleaning lady has moved my vibrator twice now so I would say I'm pretty ready to move out.
Started my day with puking in a trash can.... Its gonna be a beautiful day
Too much dab too little lung dying šµšµšµ
I accidentally put Bacardi in my coffee this morning. I ain't even mad.
sorry about your sharpie. alex wanted to shave the left side of his body so he had me draw a line over him with a ruler
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