my 3 year old cousin just woke up screaming "IT WON'T GO DOWN!'
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
Just when I think I'm the one with the problem, I get home for the holidays and the family shows me what alcoholism is really about
Just picture a dyson vacuum with razor blades. That's how it felt.
We can add pilot to the list of people who's lives I've changed...with my penis.
I need to stop getting in the car with my dad when im rolling balls. I think he's starting to notice my eyes aren't usually completely pupil
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
I need to stop acting like a drunk bitch. People are going to get the right idea about me...
Probably for the best. My morning wood is pretty horrible. I wouldn't want to tip the earth's axis/ create a new magnetic pole
You're his holy grail. The moment he finally gets you to orgasm he'll probably just retire and become a monk.
Why can't he just dump me? This is like a baby seal clubbing the hunter
I'm not fucking any of these fools. But if they want to buy me Olive Garden, that's their business.
I pointed at him and said “there goes mr fuckwad”
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