Yeah, but I'm out of licorice and there's no way anywhere near here will rent us all mopeds on a Tuesday night.
handjob tips. give me some.
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
Tonight's trip to the ER was brought to you by, "fork jousting."
I'm so pissed my boobs hit the emergency stop button during my workout
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
Wrote my name backwards on the test and asked for extra credit points. Late start booze days are my new favorite thing.
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
You were passed out in the OutBack Bowl Shrimp costume and when we asked you wtf happened you just said On Wisconsin.
We popped the air mattress last night via sex and we just kept going but it feels like I have a bruise on every vertebrae
I snapchatted him 4 pictures of me as Tarzan's dad so if he never talks to me again at least we'll know why
Will you still call me Bond when I'm sober?
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
This is going to be so stupid, but do you feel the calluses on my hands when I give you a handy?
Randomize
