so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
Just accidentally pinched my dick between two 50 pound dumbbells while doing shoulder shrugs. God hates me.
i woke up in the fire place with a lighter in my hand. if i would have died the night would have made up for it.
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
Was just told that I was slipped 2 hits of acid in my in flight drink before takeoff. 8 hours to Germany wish me luck
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
Had dinner with a married woman but didn't have sex with her. Tweeted at Mike Pence to apologize anyway.
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
Guess how much it costs to flush your pants down the toilet?
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