it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
i was gonna tell him a really embarassing story about you, but then i remembered im in all of them
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
You never realize how many sex toys you have until you have to strategically hide them while moving out of your dorm.
i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
I think "I actually like giving blow jobs better" qualifies her as a keeper
Lightning struck the tree right outside of her window as I came inside her. I think its God's way of saying go by plan b.
She passed out on the kitchen table with two mickeys forties duct taped to her hands. Clearly she is going to fit perfectly in your house this semester
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
six ambien and a bong later...he was calling me blueberry princess who need rescuing from the evil oven, and he was sir Eatsalot.
My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am
I think I've been inadvertently participating in a contest to see how many times I can show up to work hungover in my first year of teaching. And I'm the only participant. Not sure if I'm winning or losing.
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
I should've negotiated that before I sat on his face.
Randomize
