His mom just asked me if I was "fooling around with her baby again" and then when I walked downstairs his dad YELLED "Look who's taking the walk of shame!"
You really need to stop fucking dudes who still live with their parents.
I was handcuffed to a girl for half-an-hour. And I'm still the only one in the house who didn't get laid.
Drunk in my research methods class at 9:30 in the morning. We should do a quantitative analysis of my mimosa consumption.
I am both scared and jealous.
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
You missed lesbians having sex in the bathroom and the whole bar clapping for them. I had to do recon. It was amazing
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
Come help me clean and have sexual intercourse with me
Bring breadsticks
Unless he's under 18, in which case you put him back where you found him this instant.
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
I don't need to marry the guy. I just need some filthy, shameful wish fulfillment sex and then live out the rest of my life on the bean farm.
What could go wrong? i could have a mental breakdown with a bottle of champagne hand cuffed to a frat bro
is that a dick in a sweater?
His condition for us having sex was that I wore my show boots. #equestrianproblems
Haha i really think theres no better way to tell a paramedic sorry for breaking your nose than a beautiful and healthy edible arrangement...
Randomize
