I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
no its okay don't call 911, she's alive. just stopped by her house and banged on her door. she said she turned her phone off because she "had to be alone with her shame and embarassment". typical.
I'm drunk. And at a vegan cafe. You would hate it. Don't tell my hipster friend but I kinda hate it too.
He won't talk to me. He'll only communicate using scissors
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
4pm update. Theres smashed cake inside my duffel bag, a vodka bottle in the dish drainer, and the most productive thing ive done is make 40 pigs in a blanket
I'm going to fuck every single member of the men's olympic swimming team and no one is going to stop me
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
He overslept for our prescheduled morning sex. The fact that my vagina isn't enough to get him out of bed was the last straw.
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
If I get really high and watch Beauty and The Beast on our Netflx account, will you judge me?
Only if you start before I get home!
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