I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
so..some girl walked up to me on the porch last night. She came to apologize for peeing on our lawn a few days ago. I just looked at her and said it was ok, she wasn't the first.
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
My gynecologist just commented on how well my vagina was waxed
Welcome to texting with Mike. You're now leaving the sober section and headed to our insanely high bad decision making portion of mike. Enjoy the trip.
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
Maybe her vagina is like a vacuum
I can't decide if that would be a good or bad thing. I'm leaning toward good
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
Just got into a fight with a trashcan, today is obviously not going to be my day.
My brother just text me asking if I was ready for the blowjob of my life.
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
If he gets me coffee, cold or no I'll make him see Jesus with my mouth.
All my female reproductive organs were screaming HELL YES last night.
Randomize
