Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
As my groomsman, I expect you to learn the Thriller dance with me before next September.
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
You told the cops that they couldn't arrest you because they weren't hot enough to fuck
I'm sitting in the drive through at Mcdonalds right now watching the workers pressure wash the vomit I left from last night.
everything was going well until edgar threatened to handcuff the security guard to himself.
I come bearing gifts of whiskey and vagina
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
It's really funny to see the look on the sales lady's face when she asks why you're replacing a painting. "I knocked it off the wall during sex w/ my heels," wasn't what she expected.
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
do me a favor, I need this weekend off so can you work your magic and blow my boss again?
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
the most terrified I've ever been was seeing Danny Devito squirming on the ground in this underwear, covered in hand sanitizer, completely hairless
Like I just wanted some midlife crisis fun, not drama as big as his dick.
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