Already got asked if we're dating
I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
he tried to make a toast, but hit the moving ceiling fan with his beer instead
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
They are stoned and trying to learn sign language together. It's like watching a chimp waving at itself in a mirror.
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
First night in my new apartment and I threw up in front of my neighbors door. Starting off this relationship strong.
Ok, maybe playing "whose family is most dysfunctional" wasn't the best drunk idea we've had. Todd''s been crying in the bathroom for an hour. We can't get him out...
My mom is coming to visit today & it's giving me anxiety. I feel like she can see through me & into the whore I've become.
Taking a walk while tripping face during Halloween time was a bad idea. I started crying bc I was so scared and hide in the parks playground.
Vegas never ceases to amaze me. Hung out with a stripper from ATL all night and got nuthin, but the next night meet a bride-to-be who gives me a bj in the elevator.
Nothing ruins your day more than waking up to you dogs crotch in your face
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