i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
i wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commericals
I'm so hungover even the car commercials make me nauseas
High as balls & about to be tanning. Helloooo 15 minute vacay.
I hope as the only other living being in this apartment you can explain to me why the toilet was full of cheerios this morning.
so jimmy johns showed up at our party last night. our house is sponsored now. living the dream.
he kept a regular condom in his wallet just so he could comment on how it wouldnt fit before whipping out the magnums. i give him points for the build up
It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest.
how did you know i stayed over last night?
there was a trail of glow sticks and cheetos from the front door all the way to his bedroom
How drunk is "too drunk" for candlelight service?
So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.
No matter how long you've been away, there's nothing quite like pooping at your parents' house
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
Like sorry your dick won’t suck itself?
Randomize
