***** fucked a guy with one hand last night
Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
My 3rd grade teacher, who was also my fav, thought i was in prison. That seriously upsets me.
She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
Nothing says I've got my life together like buying a jumbo bottle of 7$ wine in sweat pants on a monday night
Fucking plugged the shower with taquitos I just threw up.
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
Im gunna just be that one ballerina in the low V leopard thong leotard and everyone else can be boring and prude with their little pink tights on.
Dick very happy bro
My roommate just yelled at me for coughing. I'd like to yell at her for doing lines off our counter last night.
Idk why more people don't drink at work ... i mean, yeah, the cash might be off tonight, but my customer service is fucking phenomenal right now
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
If you fucking touch my phone and text people, drunk or sober, ever again, i will shove a swizle stick up your pee hole.
What are you feeling right now?
Idk. I just flashed a porch 🤷🏼♀️
So not in the best place to do an emotional inventory
I’m not washing my pussy with handsoap.
Randomize
