Dude, you really need to stop hitting on girls by telling them you sang a cappella in college.
Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
she looked like the before picture.
I'm at a Rock of Love themed party. New high? New low? I can't tell.
Wait. Scratch that. It's not themed. These girls are just sluts.
Everything about him screamed your future.
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
will you please stage a drunk girl intervention and tell him that his chain is severely harming his chances of getting laid tonight?
I totally gave him head in sync to Beastie Boy's Sabotage playing in the background.
Yeah I'm at work. Nothing like the threat of blowing chunks on passing cars to make you feel alive.
Just walked in on him banging another girl. He told me " sorry but I'm gonna finish now that I'm caught" ...... I think this is the reason god gave me four older brothers....
OH MY GOD! I CAN FEEL A PULSE IN MY BALLS IT HURTS! ITS LIKE MINI FEMINIST NINJAS ARE ATTACKING MY BALLS!!!
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
The seven of us sank the first paddle boat, but the second one was much nicer and we stayed afloat. Best night in a while, but we had to walk of shame for a mile.
Why are you rhyming?
Too stoned. That is how my thoughts are collecting.
Randomize