clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
Every time she shows up on my newsfeed, I get the taste of tequila in my mouth.
She's doing shots in her underwear, a fur hat and mittens. I'm never coming home.
i'm having taco bell mild sauce and tums for breakfast because i'm hungover and thats all i can find. it's like thanksgiving up in here
If you are wondering why there is half eaten pizza in your pocket it's because you were passed out with it in your hand in my bathtub. Today's your b-day and thought I'd give you a good idea about what happened last night as a present
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
It's like god touched my soul and said 'you will be great in bed'
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
He brought me a bottle of Jack, got me off 3 times, & then left. This is the best fakelationship ever!
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