Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
i'm only drinking out of pineapples from now on.
drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
I just realized I have my pepper spray, gun, and vibrator all in one drawer. One false grab and I'm screwed either way.
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
Just hooked up on shake weight girl's dad's porsche. What are YOU doing with your life?
Delete her number from his phone. He keeps slurring how he's going to get her "all sorts of pregnant".
I just found out that my husband and I are Eskimo siblings. What in the actual fuck?!
Awk. Hanging with her while messaging her ex about sex injuries he gave me
Also, being stuck with my family all week has made it very clear that I need to be drunk and I need to be fucked pronto
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
sometimes you just gotta rip off the nipple tape and get it done.
I've got a surprise in the fridge when you get back.
Is it a puppy?
There will be plenty of opportunity for me to sexualize Mike via VenMo.
Randomize
