my mom just informed me my dog smells like cum
Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
She was holding a turtle doing a beer bong out of a flower watering can.
His idea of romance is drunkenly leaving me dead dandelions on my car in the middle of the night
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
Got some good news and bad news about the hayride this weekend.
The good news is its still on, the bad news is we don't have any hay. The best news, if you drink enough you won't give a fuck that its just a trailer.
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
You know what, I don't care that I got too drunk and didn't make it into the boat party. If I had, I probably wouldn't have peed on you later while we soundly slept. I feel you need that in a best friendship.
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
We hooked up with 2 friends last night as always and she stole their fucking cocaine and I just had to drive to their house and make her give it back to him hahshshahahah only me
I think he's like 40 and maybe a little sociopathetic and i have never been so turned on
Another text to add to the intervention pile, i see
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
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