i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
My favorite part of the day is the 2 seconds of ignorance you have when you first wake up. Right before you remember where your mouth was last night.
i know we're in college but you cant booty call me at 3 in the afternoon. i dont care how drunk you are.
I hope as the only other living being in this apartment you can explain to me why the toilet was full of cheerios this morning.
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
So you plan on doing double washing machine sex? Like. A double date. But with sex. On a washing machine..?
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
Bright side: maybe hell start being nice to you now that you know he has erectile dysfunction.
She's riding a bike down the street and drinking brown liquor. A pt cruiser is honking at her and she's like I HEAR YOU!!
I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
I wouldn't even cut tickets or put ppl in jail I'd just hand out punches to the mouth and Liam Neeson throat chops
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
Just by hearing the girl outside reciting the info on her fake ID, I know it's gonna be a good night
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
Randomize
