Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
I drank gravy. I actually drank gravy. This is heaven.
There's a mirror laying face down next to me. A looooong full body mirror. By the looks of it it fell off the wall last night and was within centimeters of shattering on my head. Awesome.
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
You said your face felt like it was made out out of boxes and kept asking me to give you a bath.
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
I drank a girls breast milk at this wedding. Shit was next level
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
Do you remember whose house we're in?
There's a potato with a bite taken out of it in the kitchen
I kept falling all over the place and yelled at the bouncer you can't kick me out I'm from Texas.
I went to steal condoms from your room and all I could find was chik fil a sauce
she brought her phone charger to the bar this bitch is ready to drink
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