Did you know the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders have an exercise show ON Demand? Yeah, I had a lonely night
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
Remember the 3 things that are off limits? They're fair game if you get here in the next 5 minutes
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
Woke up this morning with a darth vader helmet and a bath robe on with my toenails shitly painted
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
You can't break up with me. I brought you to see Beyoncé.
I've never had sex that lasts this long though. It's ridiculous. I feel like I need a Gatorade and a sweatband and a sub.
Smargarita sloshedurday tomorrow around 2
Bring a helmet for your liver
We were supposed to have sex but we had smoked so much neither of us wanted to move.
Randomize
