im surrounded by empty glasses of chocolate milk WTF
She's in the bathroom crying cuz she can't get the condom out of her giner. Do you have tongs?
remind me to tell you about the ham sandwich empire im building
the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
You stressed the importance of not breaking the seal too early... and then proceeded to piss your pants when you sneezed.
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
Did you spray paint that captain morgan fifth that's in the freezer gold?
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
Dave got tied up again. I'm done breaking into girls houses to cut him loose. At least before noon.
Sorry about flashing you in front of your mom.
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
you're not celebrating your 21st birthday right unless you give a male stripper a hand job, flash the bartender, and win a free vibrator.
drunkkkkk be here I heart you
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