my mario cart skills improve with alchohol. and i think my real car skills do to but the cop didnt see my logic
you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
you broke into my aparment at three in the morning wearing long johns and offered me beer.
I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
I'm going to replace you with a friend who will be happy when I find a huge penis
Most likely. calling 911 isnt usually something i do the first time i hang out w. someone, but hey. its a good story now.
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
He told me he doesn't want to fuck anymore because he needs to focus on school. Either he grew a vagina or he's secretly gay, it has to be one of the two.
apparently my buddy was fucking on our couch downstairs so i decided it was necessary to walk downstairs naked in a hockey mask.
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
Randomize
