dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
yeah my mom told me she knows when i come home high because i use my turn signal while turning into the driveway...
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
I have got to stop making out with redheads. I need to sign my life over to my dad like Britney Spears.
Craig, a bottle of Jamison, and I had a party on the roof last night. No idea how I got down. My injuries indicate fall...
I just...no. You make my soul cry. You are giving me karma-cancer. This torture of my majesticness can no longer be tolerated.
Who showers for four hours?!
It was like a tropical nap.
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
You may have gone on a date, but I ate chicken nuggets shaped like dinosaurs for dinner tonight. I think we both know who the real winner is here.
That's a beautiful sentiment.
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
thank you for being so understanding of my weak stomach and poor self-control
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