Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
I'm not sure what's more surprising, the fact that she said I reminded her of Danny Devito, or the fact that it got me laid.
I feel like a squirrel prepping for the winter on dollar beer nights.
She just told me her legs are numb and that she dedicated her karaoke of ice ice baby to her 4 month old son.
I miss the time when Mondays weren't the new Thursdays. I can't drink like my 17 year old self anymore.
Who the fuck did i sell my right shoe to last night i need to get that back im not walking with one shoe on
You forgot your "boyfriend" from last night on my couch. You're suppose to bring that shit with you.
And I might have stolen a bag of Doritos out of Matt's car and hid them in my bag and gave individual chips out to people dancing, trying to convince people they were mini tacos.. Like why Am I allowed to be an adult
I had mdma, weed, and alcohol in my system. My doctor seems to think that's how I tore my groin.
I drank too much tequila. I'm hyperventilating. Send help. I think I slipped through satan's asshole.
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
i just remember singing the theme song from 2 and 1/2 men to my hair
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