i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels
I don't know what kind of drugs you were on last night but you kept trying to highlight my face because you said I was important
you tipped EVERY employee at white castle
he confused my yawn for an orgasm
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
She was stumbling around looking for her cat. She said i could help, but i had to call him by his jungle name
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
I hate it when fuck holes buy me drinks at the bar. You don't know my order. You don't know me. You don't know where I've been. You don't know my life.
The maid moved your bed and found almost 40 used condoms and wrappers. She just looks at me and says "Dave?"
So... crashing at the hot bartender's place is not a solid marital decision.
I was walking out the front door and heard his roomate say "It looks like you need a chiropractor." I think my work here is done.
So it was all good until she started grabbing my beard and telling me to "roar little lion"
I'm trying to blow this guy down here can you please get my husband out of the house.
Yeah, he threw a chair and hit her in the side of the head. She started hysterically crying and then proceeded to continue kicking our ass at beerpong. The girls got talent.
Randomize
