i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
i wish every aspect of life was like a bar. flirt with the cute guy two feet across from you and get whatever you want for free
If I come over right now will you promise to distract your grandpa in the morning so I don't have to do the walk if shame with 1940's style judgement?
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
Reason 37 booty call break ups suck: I literally could not find his house in the daytime.
Everything's a blur with pockets full of jello
Bad idea to be in a car concussed. I just described his dick as an elevator. I think i meant escalator, i dont know
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
You won't wear your Santa suit, I can't get trashed, and you won't use handcuffs! This is the worst Christmas EVER.
Dude, you can't even imagine the trip, I actually thought that there were Care Bears sitting next to me at the bar, I'm pretty sure I started hitting on the pink one.
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
Randomize