Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
the only reason i even kissed her was because we were having sex when it midnight, and i heard people yelling "happy new year."
How many times do I have to drunk reject you for our friendship to become awkward? Cause were at 9 as of last night
who was wearing the fake mustache? I just found one in my cleavage
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
Why can't I live in a world where my only 2 options are rum bikini hot tub party or masturbating?
It's probably because the lack of alcohol in your stomach. Alcohol kills bacteria. I am a doctor. Trust me
you were crying saying "if you love me you will find me a loaf of bread"
Side note. I love it when I think I've sobered up and then I get a second wind of drunk
Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, last night I woke up to the sound of you peeing on the floor next to the fridge, didn't remember until now. Have fun at Dayton!
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
Where are you on a scale from one to wasted?
Like alphabetically I'd say a v
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
Coworker just walked in thirty minutes late reeking like weed and clutching a handful of scratch-off tickets. Also, there’s still a stripper pole in my office. Happy Wednesday!
Randomize
