Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
Just opened a beer with eyelash curlers... miss you.
when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
i didn't realize we were even dating until i ran out of weed
That girl that gave me a blowjob, I think I fired her last year.
To be so small, the mini-horses are exceptionally aggressive. And fast. Very, very fast.
Abort! Abort! He almost bit off a finger!
I think I just snorted head and shoulders by mistake.
I just walked out topless, stared his brother straight in the eye, and ate all the rest of their cookie dough.
Apparently she almost had an affair at Outback Steakhouse, details to follow when I get home but the apple really doesn't fall far from the tree
I put a bagel at the end of my bed so every time I want a bite I have to do a sit up
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
I used to shoot steroids in my ass but for a totally different reason
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
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