using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
Shark Week. Kick off begins Sunday. The drinking game has been upgraded to include jumping/breaching sharks and Jake's not allowed to bring the harpoon. Period.
i want to swaddle you in tequila
You may see me on espn tomorrow drunk, half naked, and selling articles of clothing to rich cougars like i did last year, but i will NOT be drinking shitty beer
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
Frozen pudding on a popsicle stick. Bill Cosby would be so proud of drunk me.
I'll keep you from getting pregnant and you keep my papers gramaticallly correct
so, she was so drunk she tried stabbing me with a corn dog stick
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
As I was about to go to sleep he asked me if I was ready to 69. HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK AT HIM IN THE FACE OVER DINNER TOMORROW
Can I just text her like "yo sorry I fucked your boyfriend, let's go get sushi" or like nah
To me, you're the Patron Saint of good music and handjobs
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
She then told me, and I quote "I want to send you nudes just to see how you'd react."
Randomize
