Everyone just saw your hickey on TV and on the jumbotron at the hockey game.
Thanks dad.
better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
We just licked a sour creme and onion chip for salt for a tequila shot. Our vacation has officially begun.
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
maybe i'll make good life choices and keep my legs closed. periodically txt me friday and saturday night saying "baby carrot round 2" that should stop me.
And then I passed out in my towel and was woken up by my roommate introducing me to her trick for the night.
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
Ok roommate is officially weird. Just watched her microwave the same broccoli 3 times in a row and cry b/c she fucked it up. Wtf lol
You know i'm the father figure
Yeah the father who ate her out with me last night. Great dad
After 3 dates I think I'm failing at painting the "sweet guy with a future" picture and more painting the "this is the guy to call when you've run out of options and want to get fucked in half drunk to forget about it" picture.
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
Do you think it's safe to mix miralax with a tequila sunrise?
To show us how offended you were you took off the right foot of your pterodactyl suit and proceeded to attack us with it.
Sorry for trying to baptize you last night
You knew the entire thing in Latin I was so impressed
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