i saved all my weight watcher points for this alcohol
He chugged from a bottle of wine and then we had pretend sex
How do you have pretend sex?
It was bad...so it was pretend
there comes a time in a mans life when you ask yourself, will i fake love for blowjobs? and the answer is always yes
I never kept track of who else he slept with. You think I have the time or the energy to keep track of every dick in my life?
Just so you know I would totally fuck you. Does that count as a feeling?
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
I tried to sit on a barstool last night...it was an open trashcan.
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
You're like the Mr. T of my A-team, only less gold jewelry and more pitying of fools.
That's the nicest thing anyone has said to me all day.
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
I just interrupted this girl giving a dude head in a parked car on the south side. Going down on your guy while you're parked in front of your house because you don't want your parents catching you is fine by me, just don't block the fire hydrant.
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
He’s tiny, hairless and humps my leg when he wants sex. He’s basically a chihuahua
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