2:23 am: come sit on my lap i have a stick that'll keep you in place
alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
Is it weird if I ask my drug dealer to prom? Be honest.
i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
Its like I instantly had a mental image of me in my mugshot.
Mystery solved: The table is broken because I had sex on it last night.
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
I can measure my amount of vomit in solo cups.
omg i wish you could see the front of my car.
There's literally a dust print of your body and your arm trying to hold on and the other one where your fingers visibly dragged down the hood.
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
I texted him back and I am so nervous I may vomit up all of the soup I just ate.
His mom came while we were asleep naked and started asking me about my plans after high school... Is that even a thing.
People don't believe me when I say the bruises are from work. They just smile and say "right." Trust me, I WISH my sex life was that exciting.
Randomize
