spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
Superbowl and Mardi Gras a week apart. World's longest bender here I come.
Then you ran outside and said you were gonna give the snowman a blowjob
Woke up this morning in a randoms bed clutching an airplane ticket. God I hope I'm still in the country
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
Like I had no idea he knew how to play girls the way he played me. His major is chemistry for christ's sake.
Wow. A quad shot of peppermint schnapps. I feel like I just deep throated a candy cane. Best 21st ever.
Sitting in back of morning lecture drinking a daqueri from my pink unicorn cup. Pretty sure the girl next to me smells it.
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
he was too drunk to climb up my loft. i owe my beating teen pregnancy to four pieces of steel
It's been two days. I am still burping up jello. Everything tastes like jello. Everything smells like jello. I am DONE with jello shots.
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
I just sugar scrubbed my vagina. If I don't get laid tonight, me and the universe are gonna have some problems.
Mike Pence got the fuck boy eyes though
my mom talks about my drinking like its a problem and yet this morning she fills me a solo cup with champagne for the shower.
Randomize
