he told me I talked like a deaf person
Just taught my suite how to queef. I feel like i'm back in 9th grade!
You broke out your mechano set and told us you were gonna "build us a beer machine" and 5 min later you were fast asleep
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
hey, sorry about all the butter. I thought it was gonna help.
Don't upload the drink o meter to your google calendar. Somehow binge drinking looks even worse with a time stamp.
you regret 100% of the tequila shots you do take. thats what gretzky meant to say
Buy Actually if the police need to find my body I'm on an air mattress in an apartment near a McDonald's that's all I see out dat Window
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
He won't have sex to beyonce. I hate him.
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
How did I get the fat lip, while puking I may or may not have sneezed... Wacking my face into the toilet bowl...
I hate when my Bumble matches make it hard for me to stalk them.
honestly performing my own hysterectomy would hurt less than my cramps right now.
I'm peeing on your house...you up?
Randomize
