All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
You admitted to me in secrecy that you want to jerk off a unicorn.
I bought a bottle of 100 proof for the storm. I am going to drink until I pass out. I'm taking bets. 1:30 pm is the over/under.
i feel like verizon should give a sexter of the month award
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
Get everyone into the kitchen. I need you all to witness me friend-zoning him. Just in case.
What do you want to swallow. Press 1 whiskey press 2 rum
I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
Yeah, he's passed out in my bathroom pantsless. Is it a faux pas to look at his penis?
my throat is bruised, my back is scarred, my vagina feels like it's going to fall off.. you're like godzilla. you destroy everything.
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
You punched me in the face while blackout. 20 min later I told you I'd been punched in the face and you yelled 'by who, imma go kill 'em!'
I think I'll shower sitting down. That seems safe.
Good morning beautiful! Wanna steal a cat this weekend?
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