Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
dude i just made a burrito by wrapping 2 packs of scooby snacks with a fruit roll up. im so high
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
Yo, if someone calls you asking for John Stamos, just go with it.
He hit on a bridal shower w/ his hand on my tit the entire time. Gave his number to the mom.
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
I just bought $54 in Easter crap to try and blend in the pregnancy test... And FYI, it totally worked.
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
Why is there uncooked bacon under my bed?
You insisted on taking it to bed with you. You grabbed it out of the fridge while mumbling "If I leave this out, you fuckers are just going to ruin it."
I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
I've only hooked up with engineers this year and it may be the best future financial decision I've ever made
The awkward moment when a lady ask you what kind of lipliner you're using, but really I have just finished eating hot cheetos.
I just had a 10 minute staring contest with my dog. Can you come over?
Randomize