Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
I walked in on you rubbing your nose all over his face while straddling him and yelling "I'M SO SORRY!" repeatedly. I'd say you were in pretty good shape at that point in the night.
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
Casually had to file a missing persons report last night
all law school has taught me so far is how to fart quietly during lectures and how to out-argue the ice cream guy when he screws me out of extra toppings.
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
So his mom walked in the kitchen while I was sucking him off and just casually suggested that "I'd need a glass of water after that"
We can't be fuck buddies. You stare into my eyes while we fuck.
She is the absolute last thing I would want to screw. Honestly. Fellating a porcupine. Higher on the list.
I ate the crust off the pizza and left the rest in the box. Even I would hate me.
Life without a bra equals bliss.
drunk and crying about Shakespeare- how's your night?
She caught me by google maps... Lets just say it wasnt her car in front of the house.
At one point I believe I was despencing medical advice while wearing a sombrero and a hulk hand
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