we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
dude, my own friends sent me home from a party last night. real cool assholes. real cool
U know u have sex too much when u have lube in ur rolliball on ur blackberry
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
i have wind burn on my face from my head hanging out the window of the cab vomitting
how you manage to cockblock me from 500 miles away still baffles me.
My body is being held together with whiskey, nicotine, duct tape and a little bit of hope...
You brought a jar of mayonnaise to bed. It doesn't get any worse than that.
Omg my butt feels so much better. Those suppositories are magic. It feels like Jesus fingered me in my sleep.
FUCK the WHO, FUCK cancer, I'm gonna eat fucking bacon.
Are you playing pokemon in the dark and sexting? I can't be mad at that.
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
She called a 10 year old handsome and we gave her a look that was equal parts confused and “what the hell is wrong with you”
Randomize
