I just Googled "how to lose weight but still be an alcoholic."
I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
My mom just told me to drench my entire body in vodka for 20 minutes. I have never been this russian. no one has ever been this russian
nothing like a negative hiv test and a bag of condoms to brighten my day.
So the "just a friend" kid confessed his love for me...sometimes I hate how awesome I am.
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
She's making tacos & sangria tonight. I'm sure that's how the pilgrims pregamed.
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
I feel like wearing underwear would just be poor planning
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
My pubes were yanked out by the root when they got caught in the condom. I think it's time for a bikini wax.
I WAS KIDDING ABOUT SLUTEMBER BUT ITS ACTUALLY HAPPENING
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
And some neighbor just saw me naked and hunched over a bag of potato chips stuffing my face. Maybe clothes aren't a bad idea.
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