smell like capt'n and strawberry champagne
6 figure salary? he just got a little cuter.
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
its friday night, im aone in my apartment and eating 2 year expired canned fruit, naked. i'm not single or anything..
He was going down on me as I discovered a spaghetti-O on my boob. Its been a while since I faked it.
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
The cleaning lady even cleaned my bong. I'm scared to open my sex toy drawer and see if and how she organized it
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
Went to night shots with Kayla... she punched this guy and I got his friends number. Not sure if she's the best or worst wingman ever.
Let's go. I'm waiting for my time to shine among the stars of never never land. Make sure you bring my Peter Pan costume this time. Shit's bout to get real glittery.
You will drink beer in a kiddie pool in your back yard but you wont bring a girl home
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
I’m appalled by how severely I lower my standards when I’m horny & impaired
Randomize