i'm not a human right now. not even a dancer.
do you think they make "congratulations unfit mother" greeting cards?
or abortion recommendation cards.
Whatever. It was high school. Back then I'd blow anyone who had enough room between their chest and their steering wheel for my head to fit.
I will cut you
Oddly enough thats the second time today someones said that to me
Put that in perspective
Disregard the shoes in the freezer.
I think I may have some undocumented and undiscovered std that causes girls to go bat shit crazy. How you got it is beyond me
She just mixed her Emergen-C with champagne... Vegas here we come!
Nothing says happy valentines day like waking up to a naked man you hooked up with taking a walk of shame
It was a blind-side dick pic.
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
Pretty good. Thinking about getting day drunk and filling out job applications so I don't hate myself as much
Sorry. We had to leave because I knocked a guy out for saying "yolo".
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
I was told i took a shot doing a headstand in the backseat then proceeded to barf all over my face
I had no idea you were so talented.
I came and sneezed at the same time. Words can't describe how awesome it was.
Randomize
