i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
That's intense
just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
I finally got laid.. you said it wouldn't happen.
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
in the middle of giving him head in the backseat of my car he taps me on the shoulder, opens the door, throws up three times and then proceeds to tell me how amazing i am.
I just took a shit with a lightsaber in my hand. Dreams fulfilled.
Remember how I haven't seen my step sister in like 7 years? Pretty sure I just made out with her...
Woke up this morning with seven juice boxes under my pillow and an empty box of condoms In my pocket. Good night.
And that's the fourth pair of yoga pants with unwashable stains from you.
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
Only I could go on a date with one guy, have a beer with a different guy and go home with the guy im trying to avoid. I have a talent or a problem.
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
I'm keeping him.
Sex was good?
I had to tap out three times. There aren't words for how much better than "good" that is.
Randomize
