Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
I'm at a bar that has girls so awful looking even you would not have sex with them.
Well... I doubt that.
Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
also bought condoms to give away to people who look like they're about to make a bad halloween decision. I'm like a fairy.
Thanks for the morning blowjob. Scientifically proven you can't have a bad day if it starts with a blowjob.
it's the amount of time you spend on preventing me from puking that really cements this friendship
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
The bump on my forehead, i think, was from falling asleep at front door, on my knees, slumped over. But we played good music so what?
I'm not sure how to explain it, but I feel like our penises have a connection. Like long lost brothers. We're not even gay.
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
Tears For Fears is the only thing getting me through life at this moment.
Woke up in the hospital naked with my id's taped to my chest. Also apparently puked on two guys, two girls and an escalade (at the same time). Good night.
I sharted in court today and had to sit on it for about three and a half hours.
Randomize