We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
sitting next to michael phelps in the airport. wonder if he's carrying...
Don't put random dicks in your mouth or any other crevice for that matter... and i'm home in 30 seconds
Wish I got that text last night instead of this morning.
I like to melt taper candles in my wine bottles the next day, it makes my drinking trophies more classy, and makes me look like less of an alcoholic.
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
Has anyone ever told you you're majestic like a sea turtle when you fuck?
And your cock privileges have been revoked.
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
Tell him that his phone is taped to the dog's stomach. Stop trying to call it because it makes him scared.
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
I just saw a guy in a zippo shirt buy 2 gallons of fire starter fluid and then proceed to smoke a cigarette. I feel like hes got some big plans for his tuesday.
Randomize
