kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
I didn't think her British accent was real until I saw how fucked up her teeth were.
i just heard her through the wall saying "not on my face! NOT on my face!" then a scream and "I SAID NOT ON MY FACE!!!"...nice work dude.
I'd really appreciate it if we could dress up as pilgrims and indians for the thanksgiving eve bar crawl
Turns out getting tied up to two door handles and forced to repeatedly cum is actually a really good ab workout.
You spent most of the night crying and throwing leftover meatballs at the neighbors dogs
Hurry up. Some creepy guy with a "God is vengeful" flyer is asking where I wanna go most today. I think he's going to chop me into pieces.
Dont get mad at me, it takes two to tango
IT TAKES ONE TO EJACULATE INTO THE OTHER WITHOUT CONSENT, AND SPOILER ALERT, ITS THE ONE WITH A SCROTUM FULL OF SEMEN.
Oh god. It's like a broken faucet. My guts sound like a bilge pump clogged with golf balls and cake frosting.
I wore granny panties last night to ensure I didn't sleep with him. He said they made me seem more mature. I need a new plan
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
I'm pretty sure I said "this might be the last time I'm in here" but then I took his pants off so that's a mixed message
You threw up in a empty pizza box at Pizza Hut and opened the door with your face. So that maybe why it's bruised.
you never know when your going to find a surprise from me in your bed...it keeps you on your toes.
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