You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
he kept farting in my kitchen and blaming it on the dog. then we went to wendy's and he spent twenty minutes in the bathroom. im pretty sure he shit his pants.
you should have known when you found out he drove a mini cooper not to hang out with him.
dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
three words: i give head
three words: not that well
You slow danced with your carpet steamer last night.
I think he thought he was a gentleman because he bought me the most expensive plan b at cvs
we just bought Vicodin from the Chinese delivery guy, this day just keeps getting better.
Waking and baking in my bathtub. In a giant sweater. And no pants. This is going to be the best 420 ever.
It's like split custody, only he's not a kid and they have sex with him.
Also while I am being the bigger person I plan on bringing over something strong smelling and/or alcoholic to torture the poor hungover bastard
She literally got down on all fours and I swear did a 360 degrees head rotation exorcist barf...and then moaned IT WAS THE TACO BEEEELLLLLL
so no, not her best night
So I'm texting her. How do I steer the conversation toward "I honestly would be fine never seeing you again"?
Well, I sent nudes with an Elmo t shirt on the floor... so there's that.
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
Randomize
