I bought canned wine on a clearance aisle at the liquor store... I feel like I'm living in an episode of It's Always Sunny.
the only good thing about these hospital visits are the free pregnancy tests
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
Sober December ended when I found beer behind my bed...I lost $2000 but spent 6 hours sober. Meet me at the bar?
The vodka told me to go iceskating on my frozen pool. I may have attempted.
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
You should seriously consider super glueing your knees together
The power of my vagina can withstand any attempt of celibacy
You're in a tuxedo, you can pee wherever you want.
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
Either I'm still drunk or the right side of the bed is now the left side.
My dad slapped my ass the other day and say I was "doing the family name good". I feel...proud
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
Randomize
