yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
How do you say "I'm not pregnant in Spanish?"
...and the foreplay consisted of me threatening to cut off his hand if he didn't remove it from my back.
fyi, she knows we call her the sperm bank. watch your back.
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
I've reached the point in my life where I desire cats more than men
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
So doing the math I dated almost 2 of me in penises. Like, if I you layed them out lengthwise it would be 2 times my height.
Nah. After about 5 shots he decided he needed to clean the gutters. We're headed to the hospital now so meet us there.
BITCH I AM EXPERIENCING THE FEMININE MYSTERY SHUT UP AND GIVE ME DRUGS
If one more person says Merry Christmas to me I’m going to take a pen out of my pocketbook and stab them in the eye
I literally forgot every French word I knew and blurted out “mange moi” so he went down on me like I was some baguette fresh outta the oven!!!! I passed out.
yea, she was legit pissed that her rasberry vodka ice cubes never actually froze. but we couldnt convince her otherwise.
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
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