I got three cases. When they asked for id I said it was suspended for drunk driving.
The sex was great until she started shouting, "Succeed!, Succeed!" Then it was like I was fucking a motivational speaker. Awkward.
you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
Just found 2 diff. colored pubes in my underwear..new record.
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
we convincced her parents we were only wasted meanwhile theire faces were morphing into one and i swear there was a reindeer in the background
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
He pissed on a police station. Then expected to not be arrested. Sounds accurate.
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
I'm not the one who gave a guy that lives next door to my grandmother a blowjob in a pub bathroom in Ireland, you have no room to judge.
Everyday this week I have woken up to a different dick pic. It's like a dick pic a day calendar!
Honestly his girlfriend says she hates me cause she thinks im trying to get him to cheat on her with me...she should hate me cause i already accomplished that.
Pro: 2020 made it easier to hook up with strippers
Con: explaining to Kari why there’s always strippers at our house
Pro: there’s always strippers at our house
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