Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
after last night i think it would be a good idea if i wrote a will... you know, just in case.
i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
I need to shower, but I have no shower curtain... I think I can get by with a whore bath and a hat for one more day.
The bartender said he wanted to turn you gay, and we got free shots the rest of the night
Can I just say I love that you have a kegorator on your wedding registry?
Because if not I was going to quote Ryan Lochte as punishment
Thank god I got my shit together
her wearing orange crocs at the bar was definitely a great form of contraception
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
Getting knocked up by someone with a good job and a big dick, okay. I can handle that. Getting knocked up by someone who sells dildos for a living and has a tiny dick, SOMEBODY is losing a pair of balls.
she was all excited about us being eskimo sisters and then i was just like "alyssa i've literally been inside of you" and she got even more excited
Randomize
