im surrounded by empty glasses of chocolate milk WTF
Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
I was so drunk last night that I went into my 15 year old sisters room to have her peer edit the drunk texts I was sending to my ex.
Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that
im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
Note to self: do not take so many shots that you sit on the floor under the bar where nobody can see you, and reach out and grab peoples crotch.
THERE WAS A HANDPRINT OF BLOOD ON HIS SHOULDER
in fingerprint form on my ass. Seriously not cool. \ni bruiiiseeee like a delicate fruiiiitttt. Heeeaaarrr the rythymmm
1 be hot 2 flirt with everyone 3 use hotness to make people do things for you. It's a simple model.
By the end of the night I was using him as a leg rest and he was handing me pizza rolls when I wiggled my hand. It's a proven method.
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
the dude in the apartments across the street got a video of me railing blake on your front steps last night
shit like this is why i dont let you drink vodka anymore ..
I just want to say that I've always loved you and you are my best friend ever
You gave that creepy guy my number, didn't you? You really need to learn how to just say no, not interested.
Randomize
