was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
Never drink rum straight from the bottle, even if people say it'll make you a pirate. It won't: it'll make you a bumbling shitfaced idiot who just drank rum straight from the bottle.
I cant believe that bitch gave me herpes. she said those bumps were just a part of the natural landscape
wait, did she really refer to her vagina as a landscape?
why are you more concerned about her word choice than the fact that I HAVE FUCKING HERPES
the only good thing about these hospital visits are the free pregnancy tests
I was really disturbed by what initially appeared to be a dismembered head sitting beside you. Then I realized you were laying on her body.
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
I'm pretty sure I had my drunk fortune told by a gay Miss Cleo last night. At least it's advice sober me can agree with.
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
Before getting out of the car, she said "Thanks for getting me off." I like how polite she is.
I got so drunk that I peed my bed...and all over him. The ironic thing is that he slept in his swimming trunks.
He showed me his sex playlist and it looked good, so I slept with him.
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
Randomize
