chick flicks and taylor swift songs are like porn for desperate singles
Happy hour is for amateurs. Been drunk since 1230. Fell asleep in a disney viewing of UP. Went to the roosevelt and drank more. Now im stumbling around the grove.
Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
never have phone sex with a hardcore republican during this health care crisis . just dont.
She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
make sure i look cute passed out on the couch.
she was talking at me constantly for like 20mins. i kept praying for a brain hernia but it kept not happening...
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
Tell him to dress up like Shaggy and kidnap him then bring him to me. We can pretend. Imaagination.
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
Found a piece of twizzler in my buttcrack.
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
11% beer and firearms, what could possibly go wrong?
I answered the booty call in my Trophy Wife cutoff and my ex-boyfriends sweatpants with a bottle of jager.
and how was that received?
My psychiatrist just sent me a dick pic
Randomize
