He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
i literally laid in bad for an hour last night thinking of what i'm going to name my cats when i become a cat lady.
Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
Sacagawea was the original milf.
I feel like I should put "don't judge me" in the special instructions for the pizza guy.
u know how some weekends you just wanna go out and ruin a relationship? this is one of those weekends
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
Yup. Can I borrow your penis decanter for my Xmas party on Saturday
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
Hey, I told her the bathroom was a "No fly zone" after I used it. She willingly allowed her nose to go through that pain. It's her fault, she only supplied me with vodka when she knows I only drink rum.
it was just another one of those moments where you unfriendzone a friend you assumed to be gay
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
I dropped my pants and she just stared until she asked how is that even possible? Best night ever lmao
Just looked at my bank statement. 9 out of 10 transactions on the first page were from 9 different bars. The 10th was for birth control pills at the pharmacy. I need to rethink my lifestyle.
Randomize
