She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
I thanked her for the handjob she gave me in the middle of the night. She had no idea what i was talking about. I think she sleep-jerked-me-off. Im def sleeping over tonight too
Been in the ER for 3 hours now. This hospitals transition to paperless is not going well. But my doctor looks like Elton John and just gave me percocet
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
I was trying to get everyone to go to the bar but I puked on my hands, so nobody took me seriously.
The bartender had to walk me home last night. New high or new low?
It took years to build this empire of casual fuckings and not carings.
I'm permanently fucked. Every liquid I put into my mouth automatically tastes like fireball.
I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
I have mastered the art of having sex on monkey bars.
He set the tone in the back of his car by blasting Marvin Gaye's sexual healing before railing me
If there's someone that knows accidental pantlessness, it's Mike.
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
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