See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
if i hear one more christmas song, i will fucking shoot myself.
I have a feeling this won't be the last time I wake up wrapped in a shower curtain with the words "Blame Bono" spray painted on it
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
i am literally watching eva make a trashbag diaper for you to sleep in tonight. whole new level of low for you.
So the bartender just told me that there was numerous people who saw me having sex on the rooftop last weekend. +1
This is a great bar, except you can't even randomly burst into song without them assuming you're drunk and cutting you off.
I'm in the power napping at parties stage of my life
Hello, the Less Drunk that has my sister's phone. I am the Moderately Drunk. I am questioning your Friday activities. Why are you not the More Drunk?
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
Totally clawed myself in the face during sex. I can die happy?
We can stop fighting if you send me a picture of your dick standing at full attention wearing a sock.
I'll wait.
It can also be a hat.
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
Owwwww. Yeah. I can barely move unless Im high on vicodin. We are bad at drinking/balancing. We will be the first to break hips and have to go into a home.
This is it. This is the birthday cake that gets me laid.
Randomize
