Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
Next weekend I am getting a library card and staying my whore ass home.
i have a girlfriend
if you're drunk do you have a girlfriend?
no
Okay so if I'm going to keep referring to my hangover in the third person it needs a name.
The bouncer asked you what your sign was and u replied "syracuse"
it got awkward when she realized that our nickname for her was "The Hambeast"
James and whatshisface bought me drunks. I am drinks.
He just showed up at my house and was like "have you seen an axe laying around?" he wasnt wearing any shoes.
Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
His arresting officer when they were busting up the squat party recognized him from the anti-drone protest. He was like Jesus kid, you were sober last time.
She offered to treat me to breakfast after a one night stand if I meet her parents and sex again if I act as her bf. It may be a trap but its a offer I won't refuse.
I never thought the most recent texts on my phone would be with ASAP ferg and my ex...
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
You're swimming in an imaginary pool of pudding. What do you think?
Randomize
