She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
our night together was a product of my beer goggles and jennifer aniston-like desperation.
You went from loaded cattleman, to football player, to better football player, to art major from Missouri. Your future was looking so good for a while.
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
i need to find a notary that isn't going to turn me in for blatantly lying to the us and chilean governments
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
I have to stop drunkenly making out with guys just because they're tall or have a beard.
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
High enough to ask the woman at best buy if she ever feels like she's swimming. and telling the man outside that he smells like happy juice.
She sneezed like 10 times, put her head down on the table and then laid down on their couch and fell asleep. In the middle of the dominoes game. I'll never understand why my dad continues to provide my mom wine.
But if I live with you I'll help pay rent. Only if you promise no 50 shades of what the fuck internet hookups
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
Rule number 1 of dorm living: do not forget your butt plug in the bathroom.
Randomize
