If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
**i WaNt TO sLaP mY niECe wHO ThINks iT iS cUte tO WriTE LiKE tHiS**
I realized we pick a president more often than I get a blowjob
I had one margarita and got the worst headache of my life... its like my liver has senior week ptsd
Almost peed between 2 cars...till I realized that it's daytime and I'm sober.
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
I always figured rock bottom would've involved more hookers
I think I love you, but I may be biased because we had pirate sex.
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
I just tried to pay for a coffee with a dollar and a necco wafer.
I'm tired of you and your emotional constipation. WHY DO YOU CLOSE YOUR EYES WHEN WE MAKE LOVE!?
i think we reached that point in our drunkenness where even the creeps found us intolerable
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
I need to leave my mind and my stupid vagina are having fight over who's right
just woke up to an abnormally swollen ankle (broken, perhaps?) and a shirtless man with the most beautiful abs I've ever seen sleeping on my floor.
is your ankle ok??
WHY IS HE ON THE FLOOR. SINCE WHEN DOES BLACKOUT ME ALSO COCKBLOCK ME
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