I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
I wish there was a facebook app that filtered my notifications to show only the ones having to do with people who'll fuck me.
Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline.
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
Fate is real! that hot chick, Megan just showed up dressed as jasmine and I'm dressed as Aladdin this is going to be cake
Living room floor. I asked him to give me a back rub. He did. And smoothly transitioned that to foreplay, then basically threw me on the floor. My vagina hurts. He deserves another Christmas present.
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
He showed up at my apartment drunk with a telescope wanting me to look at the "blown up star" in -24 degree weather, claiming "it's in the name if science"
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
But really, someone with a penis give me attention before I start posting nudes on Instagram.
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
I just threw up in the bushes and my gardener started clapping...
Hello! Time means nothing. Good morning! I have a vague idea of what day it is.
It is Muednethiday, March 34th, in the Year of Our Lord Joe Exotic 3099.
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