i had a dream the other night i was titty fucking you while you were asleep, then you woke up and didn't care.
Tip #47, don't trim the bush when you have the shakes!
Which one of you FUCKERS filled the toilet with soil and planted my mothers daisys in it? NOT FUCKING HAPPY
handjob tips. give me some.
So it turns out there are pros and cons to having a broken wrist. Pro: I can give amazing blowjobs with my left hand. Con: I just had to open a packet of crisps with scissors.
Well the party says they're going to have three kegs and four trampolines. I think I'm going to invite my EMT buddies just to be safe.
You rolled out of the car, got on all fours and puked then just nonchalantly stood up and waved goodbye and thanks for the ride.
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
I'm drinking vodka out of a coffee pot. and i'm not even mad about it
Im pretty sure it started going awry when I asked their mom "How much would it cost me to sleep with your daughters"
Just got complimented on my chugging... Car bombs show how good I am at swallowing, they should be my new pickup line.
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
dude. I can hear the air.
Randomize