I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
Michael Jackson and Farah Fawcett are dead
NOOOOOOOO not MJ! Someone tell the paramedic to grab him by the heart and just "Beat it"
She introduced herself and then asked "have you ever fucked a girl with a cast?"
They pulled him over whille he had a fish tank full of beer in his front seat. He told them it coudn't count as an open container cause the top was on it.
you made sure to tell everyone that the amount of people you had slept with was actually quite low, especially when the size of your breasts was taken into account
So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.
I saw you eating fruit and doing shots off people passed out
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
Left and drinking by a bar by myself. Everyone is in pajamas. I'm in a tuxedo. This is my life.
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
He signed my ass with a Waffle House pen.
Randomize
