i'm in his bathroom *freshening up* and he not only has a hairdryer... but a straightener. get me out of here... NOW
I feel like sober is me a distant relative that I only see on christmas..
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
The dean held back my hair as I was puking after graduation. That means so much more than a diploma and a handshake.
She wasnt impressed wen i brought a guy for her back with me, a 3am impromptu sperm donor is not a gd birthday present. Im a bad gf.
I just found a wine bottle in my shower. Must have been a good night.
He just subscribed to one of my Spotify playlists. The next step is sex.
I got kicked out of the men's bathroom at the diner last night because i was straddling the sink attempting to pee with pants on. Beat that.
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
I have aggressive nipples.
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
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