My bottle opener just broke off in the cork
They don't teach how to cope w these situations in boy scouts
her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
its like my vagina has this homing beacon out to all the guys saying "come find me, i havent been shaved in weeks"
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
twelve hours since my last beer and i just blew a .08, time to go to the library
I just found a bottle of gin in my vegetable crisper. Party is back on.
Sorry I tried to blow your roommate in your room. I felt more at home there.
Im 95% ready to shit behind 711
My only regret is that I have but one penis to give to your vagina.
I know shes my ex. And I know she punched me in the face and stole my car to go get drunk. But it's the best sex I've ever had.
You're sick. Take pictures if you can.
On the plus side I'm getting really good at painting the inside of a toilet with my bowels.
Cancun blessed me with a drinking problem
This whole having a new phone thing is like starting all over in life with a clean slate! (My old text convos are gone)
New phone new life!
I've turned into a small time drug dealer, now who's the real MVP.
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
Randomize
