Yeah. I woke up naked in his bed this morning and remember saying "Get a condom cuz I can't afford an abortion right now" last night. He didn't run. He's a keeper
dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
God dammit. Now I'm pissed at Arizona, while feeling bad for my poor, poor penis.
we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
if I'm ever single again, I swear to god I'm going to have 87 venerial diseases
So I'm eating my sandwich... and a penny fell out of it.
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
my dad just asked me if my booty call guy that comes over at 3am and leaves at 6 would like to stay for sunday brunch next week. you in?
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
I'm at work, and just realized I the beer smell I keep getting random whiffs of is my bra. I fail at life.
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
Who's the naked guy asleep in your car?
Randomize
