the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
So, i took all the condoms from his nightstand, not in the crazy ex way, but in the I paid for them way.
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
How do we turn this unicorn pinata into a bong?
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
You have my approval. I will dance and throw skittles at your funeral.
Look, I'm just saying... paying ur respects to the neighbors who had a death in the family with food u steal from the neighbors having the cookout may result in a negative karma situation.
We need a fire pit. Meat. And a keg.I mean like a cow we just carve from. And cook it. We can use the milk from the udder to make White Russians
i thought you were just a really comfy body pillow until i sobered up. oops.
There are some things you can ever unsee. And walking in on your dad jerking off is one of those things.
he left a full can of coors light underneath my windshield wiper, like a love note. if that's not husband material, i don't know what is
So I took a screenshot of my boarding pass and the TSA agent somehow swiped it to the next photo. Yep...TSA saw my dick before I even went through the body scanner.
Randomize
