You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
Holy jesus god. My teeth taste like street.
He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
You were so drunk that you were trying to take pictures of a MILF at the park so you could send them to Adam, but you didn't want to "seem creepy," so you used taking pictures of her son as a cover. Needless to say, cops were called.
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
85% positive I just found a hair of a certain variety wayyy in the back of my mouth between two teeth while flossing.
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
He tried to give me a shoulder massage while i peed in the neighbors bushes to "make it more relaxing."... I let him... That drunk
Has my life seriously led me to day drinking on a Monday the third week of the semester?
It's after 5, it's not day drinking.
He just texted me saying "you've got a face that suggests you give really good head". Is this a compliment? Do I say thanks?
This is stupid. I am not getting knocked up from fucking in his backseat behind a starbucks. I refuse.
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
I recall trading my iPhone watch for a carton of Marlboros.
I'm armed with nothing but $4 lip gloss gum and my phone. Ready to take on the fucking world.
Randomize
