do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
How sober do you have to be to donate blood?
Need your help. He's locked himself in the bathroom with his bong and his childhood collection of Goosebumps books.
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
There was a sweat stain in the shape of a fast chick with low standard on your bathroom floor
Let me clarify that those tears were for losing my fuck buddy and his penis, not to the fact that he decided he wanted an actual relationship with feelings.
I think a girl on my floor is watching zombie porn. There is literally no other description for the noise coming from her room.
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
PA to anyone at the party last night and wondering where your pants are: they are in my backyard.
I'm at an awkward stage of not being able to tell if I wanna keep having fun or if I need to die in bed
as I was leaving in the morning with his clothes on his roommate pops up and goes 'don't you dare steal that shirt, i gave it to him for his birthday'.
If I didn't have booty calls, my apartment would never get clean
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