You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
i really wish my pants would only unzip when im sober
How do you say "I always respond to booty calls" when you give a guy your number?
You kept running into the wall most of the night. When people asked you what you were doing you told them you were the kool-aid man and there was little kids on the other side of the wall who needed your juice
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
hey this is Madison. you gave me your number last night and asked me to remind you that you didn't fuck anyone. you okay?
There is blood on my sheets, we apparently used 8 towels, everything in my shower is knocked down. Wut?
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
Did I just hear you ask Siri about the meaning of life?
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
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