And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
Michael Bay is the white Tyler Perry.
I've spent 9 hours vomitting in the fetal position... how did i stay like this for 9 months?
Let's put it this way, it's 9am and that box of wine looks like the cure
Wow, I just sneezed gum out of my nose. Wonder how long that's been up there.
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
He just asked me if I wanted a ride on the "bologna pony." I never wanna have sex again...
I made out with an Italian cab driver. Not cool. Help. Good news he will drive us anywhere we want to go as long as you cook food?!?!?! I want to melt into the pavement.
Either you got hacked or we need to have a serious discussion about sending penis enlargement emails to your straight friends and why you shouldn't. It sends the wrong message.
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
Yes be both agreed it was the worst sex in the history of fornication, so I asked him to sign the condom wrapper so I could frame it as a reminder to NEVER sleep with him again
I’m not washing my pussy with handsoap.
Randomize