we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
last night they convinced you that a sharpie was a new style of chap stick... so when you wake up, you might want to do something about that
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
Went to anytime fitness at 3:34 am drunk after the the bar and getting whataburger. Lifted weights with my cheeseburger between my knees. That's called DEDICATION.
Our neighbors just passed us a blunt from their deck, and are hooking us up.
I just baked them cookies. We're friends now.
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
Walked into a bathroom stall to pop an addy for my three back-to-back finals today. Felt like Clark Kent walking into a phonebooth.
Hopefully they won't bring up last year's Christmas party. I kind of predicted my great aunt's death...
High. As. Fuck. I thought the kid next to me didn't have an arm for like 2 hours.
Hahahaha I'm glad you woke me up with this text.
I come home to my brother mixing skittles and vodka. We're all proud of him.
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
Ever look at an ex and wonder...was I drunk that entire relationship??
Yes, yes I do.
Randomize
