so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
the way she shouted out instructions during sex made me feel like I was having sex with my gym teacher
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
I hate that the only Italian aspect of me is I get red and sweaty when I drink
I just called my mom 'Napoleon bronaparte'. I need to stop hanging out with you.
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
Just saw a huge group of people walk by in there in their underwear. Too stoned for this.
I just brushed my teeth. In the car. With watered down Sprite. From Saturday. Multi-tasking at its finest.
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
An old man just slapped my ass and handed me five dollars while I was filling chips at subway. I feel violated, but that was the easiest five dollars I've ever made.
They started shooting fireworks out of a dryer. It was my cue to leave.
I can't have the last guy who touched my vagina be my coworker.
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
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