omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
...and the foreplay consisted of me threatening to cut off his hand if he didn't remove it from my back.
Women are fucking wierd. I have forgotten this. Divorce papers should come with a handbook.
You shouted "FUCK SHANIA TWAIN" and then downed an Aquafina bottle of white wine none of us knew how to react
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
You can wear my underwear. It'll be like old times.
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
What's the standard Christmas present for six months of booty calls?
Mobile recharge?
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
My favorite part was when you kept telling everyone you were being "green" by drinking straight out of the bottle so u weren't wasting a cup.
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
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