Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
Do you know how hard it is to conceal the fact that you puked all over the bed that someone is sleeping in?
i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
We got back together. The pastures weren't greener on the other side, the dicks were just smaller
This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem.
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
Siri makes being stoned even easier. I don't even Have to type my texts myself
Though I typed a half of that one
Fuck romance. Just shaved my nipples in the shower because I felt like it. That's the life I'm about.
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
I JUST HAD TO SNORT THE REST OF MY BAG OF COKE BECAUSE THE BAG RIPPED IN THE WORK BATHROOM.
I'm guessing you feel amazing due to all the caps?
LETS GET THIS SHIT DONE. IM GONNA GET THIS SHIT DONE, FOREVER.
Of course the sales lady was judging you, you bought a pregnancy test, ky jelly, diet pills and a 6 pack of red bull. Even i'm judging you.
I called to inform you I may or may not be getting laid tonight ...
Randomize
