I think im pregnant
I think you have the wrong number
Im starting to realize why people dont masturbate while driving
i was having this nice romantic moment with my girlfriend. then jimmy came in and peed on the fridge
You tired to make Beefaroni in the Mr. Coffee machine.
I'm going to have to call in sick tomorrow. After this weekend, there's no way I can handle hearing the accountants talk about double entry without puking.
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
Well, I wanted to be you for Halloween but I couldn't fit seven dicks in my mouth.
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
In the middle of pounding my asshole he stopped and said, "do you want to get breakfast after this?"
How does the curb feel today?
It's stronger than my elbow. But I found my lighter while I was down there.
I got sriracha sauce on my mask while I was eating fast food, now wearing it makes me hungry
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