It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
seriously my hangover is so bad I feel like my eye lashes make blinking a workout
Woke up in my underwear and Christmas sweater. Only. Eggnog has won the battle but not the war.
Went to an open-bar law school party and puked in front of Justice Scalia. My legal career is now complete -- I literally got judged by a U.S. Supreme Court Justice. Can't get any higher than that.
Seeing your one night stand on campus never gets less awkward. Why is Subway the only good place to eat?
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
Dropping acid was like seeing the whole world as a blank canvas to imagine anything I wanted.
And apparently all you wanted was to watch the sun explode and me take 60,000 dicks to the face.
I can give you five reasons its your baby
and I can give you 10 reasons it's not, but I'm busy so I'll just go with you have the wrong number. And also I'm a straight girl.
I woke up naked and only wearing cowboy boots, wrapped in a curtain that was still attached to the pole
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
I am drunkenly riding a razor scooter up and down the hills of Cincinnati
What in the fuck are you doing with your life
Wow. I want to climb Santa. You've made my mind go places I wasn't prepared to explore.
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