So stoned I forgot I was masturbating and went to go get a cookie.
it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
I seriously fake cumming more than i poop.
The toilet started ringing, I think I just found your phone.
You told me that you only walk into walls because it makes the room stop spinning.
Honey, I don't care how "classic you" this is. It's not gonna matter if we can't find you in the morning.
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
Like I'm sorry but "it'll be fine trust me" IS NOT VERY REASSURING ASSHAT. Now take off your pants.
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
I just had to ask my drug dealer to "keep it simple for me". Is this a new low?
We've done worse things
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