Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
My bullwhip has saved my life tonight and gotten me laid. I'm gonna be Indiana Jones every Halloween!
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
You stuck your entire fist into a full jar of peanut butter and starting assaulting people
I just took my birth control with Redi-Whip. I'm that girl.
This tiny Canadian guy just tipped me $20, a piece of gum, and a joint. I wasn't working. He literally tipped me for talking to him.
He sent me a recycled dick pic! He could at least use one without sunlight in it, considering it's 10pm
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
Would it be weird to bake him a cake that says "sorry I peed on your bed"?
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
WHY THE FUCK DOES RICKY'S BROTHER GET AN ENTIRE POT OF PASTA FOR BEING SHIRTLESS AND ALL I GET IS ARRESTED?!
Randomize
