the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
Never drink rum straight from the bottle, even if people say it'll make you a pirate. It won't: it'll make you a bumbling shitfaced idiot who just drank rum straight from the bottle.
She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
Qdoba locked their bathrooms last night.. I suppose so people didn't pee all over them? I considered it counter productive considering I just peed on the outside of their building then. I had to pee
you walked around drinking beer out of a plunger and telling people it was a goblet...
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
Seriously I can't get a booty call for some baked goods.
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
I have no reason to put on pants anymore. This is my new reality.
I'm eating pizza in the bathtub
I accidently sent a dick pic to the group chat with her family. Right after they all said it was a pleasure having me for dinner. Wana drink with me?
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
And our sex soundtracks thus far have been metal and Star Wars
His bedroom is the preferred destination of MILFs, cougars, recent divorcees and sexually frustrated wives
His penis is my hero
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