great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
there was enough confetti in my bra to throw another NYE party
He started to lose his balance halfway through his "commencement speech" at the top of the staircase. The rest is bloody, profanity-laiden history.
I'm soaked in beer, and I think blood. Why did we think we could tap a keg with a hammer?
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
Welcome to stoned Saturday. Full of laser tag and beyonce and awesome
Sorry bud. Having a shitty day because the GF broke up with my wife and I. We really liked her too
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
Not exactly hook line and sinker right away, but I'll give him a second chance. I should sext him me in my blue shark onesie.
He named his newborn baby after a character in the Hobbit and that is literally keeping me up at night.
sitting in the prison waiting room in my boyfriends clothes. looooong story.
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
Ben Franklin would totally be a furry.
You're smoking weed and checking Tumblr I take it?
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