Just bought two budlight beers with a can of tuna at the bar
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
I lost my grandmas ring. Probably during the handjob.
i have this gut feeling friday is going to be interesting.\nAnd by interesting I mean I feel like im going to get punched in the face by his girlfriend.
They conduct scientific research memoirs about what sort of shit happened last night after I ate those cookies.
Definitely just found that pen in the microwave. What the fuck.
He held the beaver pelt from the fireplace over my crotch and asked his friend "she look familiar now?", he then remembered my name.
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
You are cordially invited to an I'm not pregnant laser tag celebration tomorrow. booze is optional.
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
It's not even 8pm on a Friday and I've already got a guy to tell me how big his penis is. Watched anything good on Netflix lately?
Just because you haven’t had your UTI yet doesn’t mean you have a right to talk like Yoda
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